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Submitted on
October 19, 2012
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The 8 I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by tudiestudio The 8 I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by tudiestudio
This Pastafarians kind of "commandments" address a broad array of behavior, from sexual conduct to nutrition, with a pinch of sense of humour and a full cup of common sense.
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Esta especie de "mandamientos" pastafarianos —los 8 "Realmente Preferiría Que No"— incluyen un amplio espectro de comportamientos, desde sexuales hasta nutricionales, con una pizca de sentido del humor y una taza llena de sentido común.
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Rivermask13 Oct 24, 2012  Student Writer

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.
7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Thank you so much for this educational guide to the Pastafarian laws-that-are-more-like-guidelines. I've been searching for a compilation of them but haven't yet found them on dA. This is wonderful.

tudiestudio Oct 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome, Rivermask13! Ramen!
The one , bottom row, middle, is that no snorkling?
tudiestudio Oct 21, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Hahahaha...! He/she is being "touched" by His Noodly Appendage in order not to talk nonsense!
I checked out the 'top 8' list thing. I am now enlightened.
tudiestudio Oct 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I have 2 12 packs in the closet:P
but i thought eating spaghetti was like comunion for us? oh i must repent! may his noodly appendage smite me for my foolishness! or is that saying i must eat pasta? well, ill take that interpretation instead, praise the fsm!
tudiestudio Oct 20, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Of course, Hereticalskeptic. The fifth says: "I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******.". We thought that picturing this holy act was more spiritual than displaying the b*******. Praise the FSM!
NotaMeme Oct 19, 2012
Please correct me If I'm wrong, but the way I interpret this, starting from the top left....

Some of these are for the lulanyway

- Don't put any gods before FSM
- Don't Murder people
- Don't be a douchebag and then say you're a hippie
- Don't put your arm over another person
- Free Space
- Don't eat pasta
- Don't go to any established place of worship
- Don't wrap noodles around your head
- Don't use condoms or lube (wut?)
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